1. Your Genius Hands
2. Sick & Tired
3. The Laughing World
4. Fire Maple Song
5. Pennsylvania Is…
6. Nervous & Weird
7. Malevolent
8. Sparkle
9. Trust Fund
10. Loser Makes Good
11. Invisible
12. Evergleam

Lyrics

Your Genius Hands

I have seen your shake and I know what it cost you

I have heard your words now I am big on your noise

My eyes aren't big enough because I can't see your hands

I can't see what you hold I am growing now as I watch you fade

Now I know what you know and I'll break the chains you have made

These chains you've made for me

I will pull you down

I know I'll fail in style

I long to touch your genius hands

Sick and Tired

I break every day stressed out in every kind of way

I am sick and tired of being sick and tired

All I need and crave is a loud life with the power to fade

I am living because I keep it all inside

Love won't work for me I want women who are out of my reach

All I need for sure is a big love with the power to make more

I am living because I keep it all inside

I know I'm close to the fall

I know I'm dangerous

I'm afraid I'm going down

I blame my family, their damage is living in me

I am sick inside and tired of my life

All I need I swear is to go out with the power of a nightmare

I am living because I keep it all inside

I know I'm close to the fall I know I'm dangerous

I know I'm not going down alone

The Laughing World

Right now day one I fall hard when I fall

I always fall on you

Face first head down eyes closed arms out to break my fall

We fall down like a world of noise

We get lost inside the length of our own time

And the laughing world will never forget that it's when you jam that I jet

I see I want I reach I fail to hold the things that I need

I turn to reach for you I want to touch our life before it fades like a burning car in the sun

We flame for the all in plain view

And the laughing world will never forget that it's when you jam that I jet

Fire Maple Song

Turn away from the pain you don't want

Turning down to avoid them when they call

Strange words I heard a long long time ago

I wish I could go back to a summer time I knew more than twenty years ago

Can't lay beneath the sheets we lie underneath the maple tree

Now I can't smile

Lying in the grass with the wind around us as we smile and talk

Listen to your Grandma sing those country songs

She'd tell us how the maple turns to fire every four years

We'd sit in the grass all summer just to watch the autumn come around

I can't smile now

I live alone and you're so far away

I call you once a year just around the holiday

I still see you in the night lying above me in the grass

I can't smile

Turn away from the pain you don't want

Turning down to avoid them when they call

I can't believe this letter that says you died

I think I'm gonna go back to the old house in North Carolina and lay in the backyard

Get drunk and let the leaves just bury me

Bury me

I can't smile

Pennsylvania Is…

Jackson met a girl in a valley town

They fell into a teenage love she'd grow to hate

He's in prison now since he beat her down

He got her pregnant and she made it go away

Hey hey hey hey Pennsylvania

I got a card today from a girl I know

She used to live alone in Philadelphia

She had to leave the state for a choice she made

She says she feels just like a hostage in her home

Hey hey hey hey Pennsylvania

You can close your eyes you can fall and die

You can hope your laws will make it go away

You can close your eyes but you can't make it go away

I just got a call from my uncle Mike

He said he left his wife and he's not going back

Said she changed her mind about a desire child

I asked him if he wants a placemat or a wife

Hey hey hey hey Pennsylvania is wrong!

Nervous and Weird

You know I want to be the way you want me to

Big hearted and tall enough to cover you

I would break in half if you said it loud

Splinter out of myself just like mercury

I think it's better now than how it used to be

You were lying in bed and I would levitate

I think it's better here, than where we used to be

I wish I could go out into the Oregon sun… to be alive in the day

I would smile at everyone

I remember you back in '83 you were dressing insane

You were my everything you were so different from all those other girls

A blind Electra in drag so cool and casually lame

I think I'm better now than how I used to be

Always nervous and weird, scared most of the time

I think it's better now than how it used to be

Always up in the night afraid to live in the day afraid of being afraid

Now I sit alone when you're not around

I read aloud just to hear a friendly voice

I see you scary dolls they always look at me

From the corner of my eyes I see them shake their heads

You know I want to be the way you me to

Big hearted and tall enough to cover you

I wish I could go out just to be alive in the day

Malevolent

Maybe I went too far this time I just go crazy when she says no

Angel turns away pulls her dress back down, slowly washes her face

Takes the bus to her job downtown

She said I'm OK don't worry about me

Now she thinks for herself, hey what happened to me?

I told him that I thought it was over told him that I wanted to leave

He used to touch me so nice when we first met

I never dreamed he would hit me I never dreamed he would hold me down

She said, don't worry about me I won't worry about you

I don't want to be friends she said I'm OK

Just leave me alone

She said don't worry about me I won't worry about you

She said I'm OK don't worry about me

I don't want to be friends

Just leave me alone

Don't worry about me

Sparkle

I remember when you seemed real shiny with the sweat of your voice

Shaky hands super load and teenage mouth

We were all charmed and taken with your talk

Now I shudder when I hear the rhythm of your walk

Now I've got no place to go I've got no place to go

I've got no one, nowhere, no one

I have given up on the sparkle that I saw in your eyes

I have sinned the sin of wanting more

The belly fire pulls the spirit from the corporate whore

I'm embarrassed by the plaid you wear

If I were you I'd hide behind that stupid bleach blonde hair

Now I've got no place to go I've got no place to go

I've got no one, nowhere, no one

I have given up on the sparkle that I saw in you

Yeah that simple minded sparkle that I thought I saw

Yes I have wondered why you changed

I like it when you were super loud

I wonder if you're giving in tell me why you're giving in

Trust Fund

I know a couple who are in love living in the best of times

A truer love you will never know

Right next to a pain they'll never realize

Sheltered from it in a loving glow young and happy and oh-so politically correct

Just get it if you need it now

Just go buy it if you need it in your life

Don't you worry if it all runs out

Don't worry because it never will

I know a young girl living in the shadow of the kind of life that she could never make

She takes it all and gives it back in love to handsome artists in her native state

She is the angel of the loser and the disenchanted soul

Just get it if you need it now

Just buy it if it makes you happy

Don't you worry if it all runs out

Don't worry because it never will

Loser makes Good

I hate waking up it means that I have to die again tonight

35 years old and I'm still sleeping outside

Yeah I think I know your face I don't want to know your name

I won't give in

You say it's Christmas Eve that don't mean nothing to me

Just another fucked up day just another waste of time

You wonder why I live like this man you just don't understand

I won't give in I'm not like that

I won't give in

You smart ass college fuck

Act like you think you're tough

I was just like you

More pride than you could know

Think you pity me

I'll kick your ass if you pity me

I won't give in I'm not like that

No I won't give in to you

You college boy act like you think you're tall

I won't give in I'm not like that

I won't give in

Invisible

I will live I will live for a year or two

Maybe just for a year

I will die I will die I can rest secure in that

I am goddamn sure that this thing ain't no accident

And I just can't believe that AIDS is just some act of God

I will reach for you I will reach my hand

No one will reach for me no one will touch my skin

Yes I will accept I will accept my pain

I don't deserve to die like this no one deserves to die like this

Sometimes I get so mad I just want to break the world

I will not be denied I will not be ignored

I am not invisible anymore

I will not be denied I will not be ignored I am real

I won't go away I am not invisible anymore

Sometimes I get so mad I just want to break the world

Evergleam

Evergleam and I know why God is good and Jesus loves me

Heaven lives and I know where

Sounds to me a not so easy chair falling free and living

Stringing out over and over

Evergleam and I know why it isn't real and I'm not going to break

Don't die don't give in to it no way no way don't die

Please don't leave me

Evergleam and I know how pulling hair and breaking voices

Giving in won't stop the noise

Spinning wills don't give you choices

Give away the spark inside you give away the shining prize

Evergleam and I know how it isn't real and I'm not going to break

No I'm not going to break

Evergleam everywhere ever weird everyone

I won't see you there I'm not going away

No way

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